You got this

Something happened today that really gave me a lot to think about. I can't say it was unexpected but I can say that it was surprising. You see I finished work and set to cleaning up my apartment (something that I am an expert at putting off) and while I was sorting through the clothes that had piled up on the chair, I came across a pair of jeans and two pair of cargo shorts (im not sure if they count as long shorts or short pants?) That I purchased a couple of months ago because I hoped that I would fit into them eventually. Fitting into these pants would be a milestone since when I started this journey I wore size 60 (yes size 60) and these jeans and cargo things were size 48. In my mind getting into sizes that are sub 50 is on par with getting the scale to read a weight of sub 300.

And that is what gave me so much to think about on my evening bike ride. ( a ride I cut short so I could come home and put these thoughts on paper) You see the last 11 years that I have been on this journey has been a time of both joy and sorrow, of accomplishment and failure. If I said that I never doubted I would be a liar. If I told you of the number of times that I wanted to just give up you would have to wonder how I ever managed to have any positive results.

There were times when I slipped back into my old life. Eventually I would pull myself out of it and just work from where I was. I can look back at the old me and I would like to say "I don't even know that man anymore.

But that would be a lie, and I'm trying to be honest here even when it hurts. You see the thing that have given me pause, and the reason I titled this post "You got this" is because over the past few weeks I have encountered too many people who think they can't do it.

Whatever that "it" is.

I can't lose weight, I can't find a job, I can't keep a job, I can't make it. It is all a lie. You can do it! One of the biggest lessons I have learned over these last 11 years was that I believed all the shit that this world had fed me and when that above picture was taken (1 month before I decided to try to make a change) I had given up. I killing myself a day at a time and I was known to say "I'm not gonna eat a bullet but I'm not going to do anything to prolong this either"

(you have no idea how difficult that last sentence was to type)

You see I still struggle with those feelings (everyday) and I still have days where I just want to curl up and quit trying. What do I do when I have those days, usually I curl up and order a pizza. Not the answer you were expecting? Let me tell you a little secret.

No one is perfect. No one wins all the time.

Just do what I do, Forgive yourself and move on from where you are right now. Because the truth of life, the real and brutal truth is that everything that has happened before this very second doesn't matter. There isn't a single thing you can do to change the smallest of your actions that happened a second ago let alone years ago. Please let yourself live. Turn your back on the past and give yourself permission to move forward toward whatever it is that you want.

You got this.

I would like to leave you with a little bit of something that I find encouraging. Amanda Palmer is an artist that more I see and more I find out the more I fall in love with her. (Major Internet Crush). Also she wrote a book that really changed the way I look at the world. It is called "The Art of Asking" You can find out more by clicking the link The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer.

New Cyclists

Yesterday I took my bike to work so that I could go riding after work and so that maybe, just maybe it would improve my mood. Even the guys at work tell me that I am a nicer person when I bring my bike in.

This is a Good Thing.

As I rode through station square, southside, hot metal bridge, jail trail, smithfield st bridge, and back to the south side via station square I began to notice something. There were a lot of what I took to be “New Cyclists” on the trails. Now before I go on allow me to define “New Cyclists”. What we are talking about here is usually a new bike and new looking gear (shiny helmet) and an intense look of uncomfortable concentration on their faces. Couple this with a slightly (or not so slightly) wobbly riding style and I think all of you reading this know just what I am talking about. Having introduce several of my friends to cycling I have seen these looks. I know them all to well.

Again, This is a Good Thing.

I can even be pretty sure that these “New Cyclists” are the very reason that many of you would rather take the street instead of the Bike Trail. I know I have done just that especially the station square to 18th section of the South Side Trail. As I passed some of these people on the Jail Trail I began to think to myself how much happier I was with them behind me where I didn’t have to worry about them than in front of me where I had to try and guess what they were going to do next.

This is not a Good Thing.

You see I had forgotten what it was like back in 2006 when I first started riding my bike in order to lose some weight and not die. For weeks I could only do laps in my neighborhood. my first ride was less than a mile and I thought I was going to die on the machine I had bought to save my life. Oh the Irony. But I didn’t die and after a few weeks of riding around my neighborhood I decided to take a longer trip. From East Pittsburgh to the Beehive in the Southside.

This is a Good Thing?

I was prepared. I had a backpack with 5 extra inner tubes a toolkit, energy bars, two bottles of water on my bike, Headlights, tail lights, bike lock, map, satellite photo of bike trail, and a fully charge cell phone. Just in case. The ride down took my two hours (stop laughing) and as I was walking my bike next to the train tracks (oh yeah no complete bike trail for me) I was sure I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. Still I pressed on, riding down the South Side Trail with everyone else on a warm Saturday. Every Time someone passed me I was sure I was going to wreck. Everytime I passed someone (not that often) I felt stupid yelling “ON YOUR LEFT!” as loud as I could, cause you know, that’s what you’re suppose to do.

I eventually made it to the Beehive and had a pot of tea while thinking how amazing it was that I could just hop on my bike and actually go somewhere instead of just riding around my neighborhood. It was the first of several pivotal moments in my cycling life.  That was the day I fell in love with cycling. Even after the ride home, which included several hills I enjoyed riding down on the way out but were less than fun on the way back. I can still remember how it felt to have my eyes opened like that.

It was a Good Thing.

And I want to share that Good thing, I want everyone to feel what I felt that day. I did something I was afraid to do, something I wasn’t sure I could achieve, and in doing it I found out that I can do so much more than the world says a fat guy can do, I can do more than my friends and family thought I could do. Most importantly I learned that I can do more than I ever thought I could do. So when I see a “New Cyclist” I try to give them a little extra room, a lot of extra encouragement, and I hope they see the wonder I see every time I climb into the saddle.

And that is a Very Good Thing.

Fat Guys 10 Rules for Cycling

Most if not all of you are at least familiar with the rules of cycling. I would be willing to bet that the statement “Rule 5!” has a special (if not beloved) place in your heart. My rules for cycling are a little different.

1. Go out and ride a bike!
2. Yes you can do it.
3. Support the local bike shop that supports you
4. Don’t Be a Dick
5. Any Excuse to ride is a good excuse
6. Be pro-bike not Anti-car
7. Always carry a spare tube and patch kit.
8. Be willing to give said tube or patch kit to total stranger
9. You can do so much more than you think you can
10. Go out and ride a bike!

Go out and ride a bike
My first rule is a bit of a simple self-explanatory rule, but it is also the most important. Go out and ride a bike. It’s what cyclists do, and it is all you have to do to be a cyclist. It doesn’t matter what kind of bike you ride, how much you spent on it, what you are wearing, or where you are riding to. All that matters is that you get on your bike and go for a ride. My first few rides were around the block where I lived, and by the time I had ridden 10 feet I was a cyclist.

Yes you can do it
If I can do it you can do it. Riding doesn’t have to be hard, hot, and sweaty. Riding should be fun. You should want to go out and enjoy the time you spend on your bike. More importantly you can enjoy the time you spend on your bike. Riding your bike will make you stronger. So that even if there are things you can’t do on your bike or places you can’t ride to. It is only a matter of time before the things you can’t do become those things you have done.

Support the Local Bike Shop (LBS) that supports you
It isn’t enough that you support your local bike shop. It is equally important that your local bike shop supports you. Are they willing to help out, teach you how to take care of your bike. Clearly explain what is wrong with your bike and show you what is broken. Are they friendly and willing to take time for you. (unless the place is busy, they need to make a living) Does the shop host rides or at least know what rides are going on and can point you in the right direction.

Don’t be a Dick
I could make this one rule it’s very own post, but I will try to limit myself to a single paragraph. What I mean is that you should be considerate of other cyclist, nod, smile, and say hello. Stop when you see someone stopped and make sure they are ok. Think of all the other cyclist around you as friends and treat them that way. Be willing and Able to help a new cyclist get comfortable on a bike. Lastly if you are one of the CAT 6ers out there who get upset at the slow people on the trails on saturday that are getting in YOUR way and riding slow on YOUR circuit and keeping YOU from getting YOUR miles in, do me a favor, get off the trail and on the road. You’re being a DICK!

Any excuse to ride is good excuse
Need to pick up some mike? Don’t hop in the car, hop on your bike. Beside actually using less gas and helping to save the planet you get to say things like “When I was biking to the store yesterday to pick up groceries...” and look like a total hard ass. There is never a bad reason to get on a bike and ride.

Go to the Store - Ride a bike
Go to work - Ride a bike
Stressed out - Ride a bike
Looking to get out of the house - Ride a bike
Looking to shut that person up - Ride a bike
Want to save the planet - Ride a Bike

I think you get the picture. Riding a bike is one of those things that doesn’t really have a down side.

Got to get somewhere in a hurry? What’s wrong with you, learn to plan ahead and lose the word “hurry” from your vocabulary. That in itself will bleed so much stress from your life that it deserves a post (or a dozen) of its own.

Be Pro-Bike not Anti-Car
This is a tough one for me because I don’t drive (I don’t have a license) so I have learned to plan my life around this fact. That being said I know that we live in a very car-centric culture and while I believe that there are many things you can do without a car, I also know that most people aren’t going to give up the car as their many mode of transportation.

I have become OK with this.

What I am hoping for is that you will begin to look at things such as Mass transportation, cycling, and walking as viable options for at least some of your transportation needs. It is one thing to convince people to get on a bike and do some riding, it is another thing to convince them to give up their cars.  Baby steps.

Always carry a spare tube and patch kit
I cannot stress this enough. Of all the mechanical problems I have had, and encountered with myself and other cyclists 80 to 90% of these could of been fixed with a spare tube or an allen wrench. We can argue about things like chain tools, duct tape, or a few spare links till the cows come home but if you carry a spare tube and a patch kit (and actually know how to use them) chances are you will make it home.

Be willing to give said tube or patch kit to total stranger
Unless you are a young girl on a dark trail alone at night this is possibly the best advice I can give for creating a positive attitude about cycling. When you see a cyclist pulled to the side of the road, even if he/she has people with them slow down and make sure they are ok. That patch it that you paid a buck and half for can make a huge difference in this person’s view of cycling. Please be aware of your surroundings when you do this. If you don’t feel safe about stopping then don’t stop or stop at a distance. Be safe first but also be willing to give up that extra tube or patch kit or bit of time to help another cyclist get home safely.

You can do so much more than you think you can
This is the first thing I learned when I first started to ride my bike. My first real ride was 10 miles, nothing special, just down to a local coffee shop and back. Something I would have never considered doing.

Yet I did it.

The day before my longest ride was three times around block. That is when I first realized that I was able to do so much more than I had convinced myself of.

I let my mind lie to me.
To convince me that I was/am capable of so much less.

I need to call myself out, You need to call yourself out. You need to understand that you are so much more, and you can do so much more than you could ever believe. We are all able to do so much more. If we can just quit listening to that voice in our head that tells us over and over again that we can’t

You Can!

Go out and ride a Bike
The truth is that I put this in twice because it is twice as important as the other eight rules (even the Don’t be a Dick rule) If you ride then you know just how much being out on a bike can change you, your feelings, your attitude, and most importantly your future.

Ride a Bike
Change Your Life.