Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Litter-Bi7ch

Photo Credit: UGGBOY

I have a real problem, one that takes a normally peace loving bald man and turns me into a pissy vigilante with fantasies of violence and water boarding. Littering.

Yes I know that this isn't really a biking post and to tell the truth I'm not all that big of an environmentalist. What really set me off this morning was a young woman eating some candy while waiting for a bus. She was less than 7 feet from a trash can and yet all the papers from her candy ended up on the ground. So I have decided to call this woman Litter Bi7ch

The sheer laziness of some people just make me want to scream and yell, and piledrive this girl into a mound of broken bottles and still lit cigarette butts. I mean really, what kind of super important person are you that you need to set aside not just the law (littering is illegal) but the years of instruction you should have received  at the knee of your marginally responsible mother.

Really if you are reading this and you don't feel the need to use the nearest trashcan I want you to do two things.

1. go immediately to the doctor and have yourself sterilized, if you can't manage to learn this lesson then you can't be trusted. If you have children take them to the woods to be raised by a family of chipmunks - they will be better off.

2. Don't take the time to comment here and tell me your justification in being an Asshat, there is no justification in this and really, Your mother clearly should of followed #1 above. You would be better off with the chipmunks.

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